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<!DOCTYPE html>
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<head>
<title>sarisizi's blog</title>
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<header>
<h1><a href="https://log101.github.io">sarisizi</a></h1>
</header>
<article>
<header>
<h2> I'm 22 and I've failed </h2>
<p class="subtitle"> Part 1 </p>
<p class="date">9/18/2021</p>
</header>
<p>
&nbsp&nbspYeah, it's been 22 years living, 8 years coding. It was all fun at the beginning. I and friends were making cool flash animations--there was flash once, we even tried to make a shooter game with 3D graphics. Then I jumped into the world of coding. I was reading books, coding small things, eating popcorn while watching edX courses. I was constantly shifting my focus, different programming languages, different platforms, cool new technologies. Then I had to decide on a university. I thought: <em>"Hey, I don't want to deal with introductory python courses, and stupid freshmen, I want to be the cool computer wiz without a degree!".</em> And I choose an arts bachelor for fun and easy scholarship, I had good marks.
</p>
<p>&nbsp&nbspI think this was my first mistake, I didn't know university was actually all about the environment, I found myself surrounded by people talking and interested in boring history, sociology, psychology stuff, and completely ignorant of computers. Actually, I made some friends, I even loved psychology and philosophy. But still, I was spending my time alone in the library coding and learning while my friends were preparing their fifth response paper on . I felt alone. After a while university began to tease me because of my low grades. And it was psychologically disturbing. I tried to balance my academic life and computer passion but I failed. And I couldn't leave the school because I was in need of that scholarship they were giving me. 3 years passed with this unbalanced life.</p>
<p>&nbsp&nbsp6 months ago I decided to leave the school and I moved to an easier no-scholarship state university. And I began thinking about my career as a software engineer. How am I going to find a job? I began scrolling down LinkedIn job postings and found out I should be able to do "one thing" well. I should've mastered Django, Rails, Android, etc. "Yeah, I can make that!" I said, they said, "No, you don't have a degree, the only thing you have is an ugly GitHub page with unfinished or empty repos, go away!". They were right in a way, all these years all I was doing was having fun, I wasn't prepared for a job. But now I didn't have money, a scholarship, or any plan to earn a living. Parents went ugly, they said I was a careless, stupid, ignorant boy. I know they are not right. But I didn't know what to do. Life seemed so boring, and meaningless. Wished I'd die. But then I pulled myself together and accepted the challenge. There is no dying, I'll work hard and I'll find a job, not just "a job", someplace where I can have fun working. I know the next 3-4 months won't be easy but I know I can do it.</p>
<p>See you there!</p>
</article>
<hr />
<nav>
<h2>Yazdıklarım</h2>
<ul>
<li> <a href="https://log101.github.io/karar.html">Karar</a></li>
<li> <a href="https://log101.github.io/relife.html">Relife - Tanıtım/İnceleme </a></li>
<li> <a href="https://log101.github.io/ramazan2021.html">Bu Ramazanın Özeti (2021)</a></li>
<li> <a href="https://log101.github.io/yoklugumdakisehir.html">Boku dake ga Inai Machi - İnceleme Yazısı</a></li>
<li> <a href="https://log101.github.io/merhumeII.html">Merhume II (1. bölüm)</a></li>
</ul>
<h2>Yazmadıklarım</h2>
<ul>
<li> yakında ... </li>
</ul>
</nav>
<section>
<h2>Hakkımda</h2>
<p> Sarisizi, bir zaman yolcusudur.</p>
</section>
<footer>
<p> © 2021 | tema: <a href="https://grahamc.com/blog/erase-your-darlings">Graham Christensen</a>, kapak resmi: Jason Andrews</p>
</footer>
</body>
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